When you first get married it may seem like everything is going perfectly.
You may feel like you’re in a fairy tale, and that your love can conquer anything. After you’ve been married for a while those feelings may start to fade.
The amount of time that it takes for those feelings to fade may vary from couple to couple. Some may even be wondering what they got themselves into the day after the wedding, or they may keep feelings of love and happiness for quite a while.
Happy Marriages Don't Just Happen by Accident
When you start to notice those feelings fade, it is important that you do things to keep your love alive. Happy marriages don’t just happen by accident. You have to work at having a happy marriage, but the benefits are definitely worth it. When you feel happy and satisfied with your marriage and your spouse it will be easier to take on the pressures and stresses that come with life outside the home.
How can you keep the love alive in your marriage? By doing those things that made you fall in love in the first place. Some couples become so busy after marriage that they forget to do things that will keep them close. When they were dating, they spent time together, they went on dates, they did things that they liked doing together, they held hands, etc. Then they get married and they barely even talk to each other, except maybe in passing at the end of the night.
If you want to stay close in your marriage, and have a happy marriage, it is necessary to keep wooing your spouse, and to continue to make them feel loved and special like no one else can. If you were in the middle of a storm and there was only one safe place in any direction you would stay in that safe place and cling to that safe place. In life your safe place can be your marriage if you build it to be a fortress that will last through, time, weather, and whatever else may come.
Ask Your Spouse What You Can Do to Keep Your Love Alive
There are several suggestions for you to do to stay close in your marriage. The best way to know what to do to stay close to your spouse is to ask him or her. Ask them what you can do to make them feel loved and special. Ask them what they like and don’t like.
If some book tells you that it’s romantic to buy your wife roses, before you go out and buy a dozen roses, find out if she even likes roses. If some book tells you it’s romantic to have dinner ready for your husband when he gets home from work, before you prepare the banquet, ask your husband if he actually wants to eat right when he gets home. Some husbands may want to relax for a while before dinner, and some wives may not like roses.
If Each Partner Meets Each Others' Needs, Both Needs Will be Fully Met
If you find out from your spouse what they like, then you can focus on that. Some people complain that they do so much for their spouse and they don’t get anything back in return.
This usually happens because each spouse loves each other the way they want to be loved, and they are not finding out how to make their spouse feel loved. If you meet your spouse’s needs the way they need them to be met, and they meet your needs, then both sets of needs will be met.
Make sure you ask your spouse which ones will help to make them feel close, and let them know what will help you feel close. Remember that being romantic and keeping the love alive does not necessarily need to be expensive. Sometimes the little things can make the biggest difference.
Some Ideas to Help Keep the Love Alive
Hold hands with each other. Take walks together. Go out to dinner together. Play a game together. Work on a puzzle together. Do something active together. Write your spouse a love note. Call from work when you get a break just to tell your spouse that you love them. Tell your spouse that you love them several times each day. Make sure you schedule in some special time to be alone together doing something interactive that will make you both feel close.
While this is a very small list and by no means all inclusive, each couple is encouraged to make thier own list. After doing so, they have a documented reference point which can definitely help alleviate any guess work, thereby avoiding a lot of potential frustration!
Conclusion
Remember that your marriage is what you make of it. You can have a happy and close marriage. It won’t come automatically, but if you work at it, you can live happily ever after for as long as you both shall live.
Mike Fox - Keeping marriage topics real, down to earth, real and practical. We help two hearts beat as one.
Join the Conversation